today is a very speical day, it's my late mother's birthday.. don't start thinking all sypathatic, or sarcastic-yeah-poor-girl kind of thinking i am just sharing some thoughts that this day stirrs in me.. same thoughts that might be stirred in everyone of us when we think how someone's presence specially if that close my have affected who we are..
i wonder what if she was here today, would i have been the same person, i think maybe i wouldn't have been that tough, i must have got that from my father alright, maybe i wouldn't have been independed that much, i would have been more conservative... would we have been friends, or would we always fighting over the way she wants to control my life.
i wonder if she saw who i am today, would she be surprised or shocked? does she feel proud when she hears about me in the heavens? does she know that i am not as perfect as everyone may think i am.... doesn she understand that i am human and i have my own imperfections and trying to patch up the pieces as much as i can..
on the other hand ... me .. i miss her shoulder to cry on, her hand stroking my hair to sleep, i miss having someone to listen who's really intrested to hear me out and would help me feel better as much as she can, i miss her holding me in her arms, someone i am dead sure would be there no matter what .......... i miss everything she is.
and i hope and belive that she's in a better place.....
i pray all ower loved ones that we miss so dearly are...
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