happiness... the question?!!

sometimes i wonder if i am afraid to be happy, i dnt know if scared or afraid is an appropriate description, maybe forgot how is more like it... or even the fact that i got used to this numb feeling
what is happiness?
is it the clear consience, facing urseld and facing god? that is tough ... we are ment to do wrong and to sin, its a pilosophical thought that i have, if being good was so easy we wouldn;t have been rewarded for sticking to what;s right? and then there would have been no redemption
is happiness being loved and cared for?
some people feel smothered by too much love, and how many of us were loved by what we call the wrong people we just cant love them back... is it to love and be loved.... well lets face it in our great counrty it is not just the both of u u have to love him and he loves u and his mother loves u too and your dad is ok about it and the list goes on
is happiness in reaching your goals?
what is your goal i know a whole generation who can not answer this question and their goals are only motivated my financial and materialistic reasons and that is obvsious in the hard times we are living today..
i have been trying to define happiness for 2 days know to explain the reason for my bad mood which is totally unexplainable cause even if i cant define happiness, i sure know sorrow very well and el7amdulellah it did not visit me in sometime