whispers about attention

it is amazing how we as humans we tend to give and expect something in return even if not of a conscious level, we give someone your time, your attention, and you expect they will do the same... why?
you only have control over your own self, just because you chose to give away what yours doesn't obligate anyone to do the same ... so suck it up and be selfish for a change
attention is given not asked for, if you ask for it its meaningless even worse instead of being comforting it just hurts

it is when i shut you out, when i need you the most, it is when i feel lonely that  I need you to sit by me and not avoid me all together thinking it will pass through, it is when I feel overwhelmed when I need your help and not some advice on how to manage, it is you I need to talk to and not find comfort in anyone or anything else.... I can do that it is easier than asking you to be there, but I did not choose to live this life on my own, so don't let me I would rather be alone than feel all alone

a quote from my all time favorite
" Don't fall away,
and leave me to myself
Don't  walk away
and leave love bleeding in my hands again" hemorrhage - live 

life is hard why didn't they prepare us for that when we were young, why were we trapped in the idea that when we grow up we can do anything we want while every year passes another rope ties us down, why is talking so hard, why is being understood that hard, why is carefree happiness hard, why is  it that we only feel longing for something we can not achieve
why are we so tied to this life that is so temporary ... nothing has a true value and nothing lasts

p.s i know it is messed up ... i should blog more often