Friday, April 13, 2007

running in the rain

i wasn't feeling ok so i went to walk it off... the weather was clear cause it has just rained and the sun came out.... i felt that the rain might be gone from the sky outside but it still it cloudy inside of me.... i put my music on and just stared into the void and kept walking... lines off my very dear touching songs kept playing and it only kept getting darker and clouds closing in " can i burn the mazes i grow...can i , i dnt think so... where can i run to? where can i hide? who will i turn to? now i am in a virgin state of mind" k's choice said... then then she sang "and i feel guilty as i sigh.. am feeling guilty , why do i? take ur hands out of mine.. take a rope and tie these thoughts of mine down.. untill i'm fine" ......... then came in sia again this song is so close to how i feel " lost my self again today.. and i am no where to be found... be my friend.. hold me... wrap me up... unfold me... i am small.. and needy... wrap me up and breathe me".... then avril " i couldn' t tell u why she felt that way.. she felt it every day.. i couldnt help her i just watched her make the same mistakes again..... her feelings she hides her dreams she cant find.. she's loosing her mind.. she's falling behind .. she can't find her place she's loosing her faith .. she's fallen from grace she's all over the place"
i open up my eyes and its as if my feelings have overflooded over the world around me.. a huge dark cloud is over the place, and its started to drizzle..... i remember a friend of mine saying that prayers are accepted when its raining"3ind nezool el ghaith" so i start praying with my heart for all those wrongs i know i have made, for all the lost souls out there that are still among us , or have long departed.. i pray that god forgives me and all those i know ... i pray that i have the strength to stick to what's right, right the wrongs, and embrace new opprotunities that may come my way.... the rain is pouring now and i am staring to get wet..... its still a long way back home so i start to run... it rains even harder and i can barely see.... i am soaked now..i start running even faster... and it feels like i am running away from my troubles as the rain washes them off me........... i have reached home now .. i feel exhausted but some how i am relived

2 comments:

VOID said...

baby girl ...
how ru in this rain... wish it wash ur grieve . will i be able to ask u about it one day , wish i will be .
also the chilling cold has it`s effect.
u know it`s not actually a grieve it`s rooming , wandering , rovering
in this wide wild web the one nominated life .
i will till u a little clue in understanding what is right & what is wrong in this journey of life
just stuck to ur religion get strength from it , get what to do & what not to do , get patient
& u will reach , have faith & u will be unbreakable
& stop getting out in rain u will catch cold :)
let me see ur smile ... swan

VOID said...

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/altanmia_be_aleman/