trying to keep my demons locked in
so please stop knocking on their door
if you can't help me keeping them locked up
you certainly will not survive them out there

I come undone

i have been fighting this too long and i am tired
i see everything fall apart if i continue down that road and i am sinking
trying to go back to who i was but i am lost
trying to embrace who i have become but i can't
i see you there and i pity you to be stuck here
i sit alone and i pity me for facing it alone
sometimes it hurts less to go through things alone than to expect something, anything from someone that never comes..


"who do you love? who do you need? when you come undone" ~ Duran Duran

SHUT Up would you !!

i wish i could mute the voice in my head,
i can't make peace with it anymore.. it is shadowing everything
It keeps putting me down, resenting where and what I am, yet I don't want to go back to who I was
I feel trapped in a moment while the days go by
talking doesn't help anymore no one gets me including myself
If only I can mute this voice for a while, so I can think, so I can smile, so I can stop sucking the life out of everyone and everything

rules of happiness

rules of happiness include putting yourself first, being happy so you can help others be happy...
how can that be done when there is no time for you? I don't know or remember what would me me - only me - happy. the old stuff don't work and the new stuff don't either????
I am blessed with so many things that I am thankful for, but somehow I miss me, just me without anything or anyone else.

sometimes I am not sure which is worse, talking things out while you are certain that you will not be understood or at least feel a bit of empathy or false sense of understanding... or just keeping it in maybe it would feel better than expecting something you would not recieve

Quote for life

It takes years to build up trust but only seconds to destroy it 

Rant Rant cause that it all I can do

life is all ups and downs and you claim that I get trapped in the downs, i didn't chose to be who I grew up to be, but you chose to be with me. life is a matter of choice some choices are harder than others, love is an amazing thing but it is fragile and relative, and for life to move on day in and day out it needs more, cause if it just fuels on love it will wear it out... and as much as it is not a good enough reason to be together when it hurts, I do not think it is a good idea to wait until you hate to walk away... I am tired of talking although it is the only thing I can do right now, I do not recognize the voice that talks back to me in my head no  more ....

the mood song that I do not remember who sung it or the tune but the lyrics are ringing in my head specially this part

                " what do you want from me
                    It's not like it used to be
                    you've taken my life away
                   Ruining everything"

and the worst part it you are clueless of how and why it turned that way...............