I AM SCARED !!

i am a phsycho and every one around is

no one seems to be listening to anyone but themselves, and then pointing a finger at the other and calling them selfish or inconsiderate, that also includes me... 

everyone wants something and they want it right now, and you can't say a word or even frown cause you'll be bombarded with a flood of accusations i am just sick of it, there is too much pressure and i am about to burst, my  mind is gng around in circles and seems to be clowded with all those weird thoughts that don't make sense alone or together, i am having nightmares daily of weddings, exams and what life has in store the next few months, and no one seems to be seeing it.....

i need a hug a big warm motherly hug, the kind that makes it all go away...

its strange when we sometimes complain of the same things that makes us who we are

i feel you

i feel very blessed, el7amdulellah, if only we can be patient enough to walk through the darkness and reach the light everything happens for a reason, i just pray to always have the insight to see it, and the strength to belive in it.

back to what i wanted to write about today, i know i havent written anything in a loooooooooong time, everything is so hectic and time flies, studying, working, preparing , shopping, planning, and working again.....

i wanted to talk about that dream i had a couple of nights back, i  dreamt of my mother, i didn't see her face in the dream, but i felt like someone was holding me real tight, and i just knew it was her, i don't know if i belive in this kind of contact between souls, i ran to my brother (in the dream) to tell him, i  kept saying " mum is here i can feel it" he just glanced at me the way he always does laying on his bed not lookingup from his laptop " you are crazy, how can she be here" . but i felt it so real and i am grateful for that dream.

 mum i think of u always and i miss u all the time, i hope when u hear of me you are proud , i hope you know that i miss you and i never needed that hug more than now.

"i feel you

in every stone

in every leaf of every tree

that you ever might have grown,

i feel you

anyway, in every tear that i have shed

and every word i never said

i feel you"

                                                        [some techno song but it fits ~i feel you]