el7amdulellah

well i haven't been writing lately
i guess its mainly because i dnt write except when i am in a bad mood, and lately el7amdulellah life was pretty good and even more hectic ... its amazing all the details there is to start a new life :S
i am happy i can not deny that, i am scared and it masks my happiness most of the time, i am still tied to the old me in the back of my mind maybe just for safety the same way as a kid i used to hang on to my single shoulder floater while i am dead sure i outgrew it years ago and it won' t save me anymore from drowning, but it just made me feel safe.
i am grateful to god for all his blessings that even what seems bad happens and always happened for a good reason, i just pray for the insight to realize it.
i don't think i have much more to add i just wanted to put down a line or two.