what if I run
run so fast and leave it all behind
will I stumble upon what i hope to find
what if I run and leave you behind
will you miss me
or just turn your back around
I need to run, run so fast somewhere
let be a new or an old ground
maybe you would catch up with me
yet this thought weighs me down to the ground
I have to run NOW when there is room to turn around
I hope you feel me
before you look around and I am no where to be found

trying to keep my demons locked in
so please stop knocking on their door
if you can't help me keeping them locked up
you certainly will not survive them out there

I come undone

i have been fighting this too long and i am tired
i see everything fall apart if i continue down that road and i am sinking
trying to go back to who i was but i am lost
trying to embrace who i have become but i can't
i see you there and i pity you to be stuck here
i sit alone and i pity me for facing it alone
sometimes it hurts less to go through things alone than to expect something, anything from someone that never comes..


"who do you love? who do you need? when you come undone" ~ Duran Duran

SHUT Up would you !!

i wish i could mute the voice in my head,
i can't make peace with it anymore.. it is shadowing everything
It keeps putting me down, resenting where and what I am, yet I don't want to go back to who I was
I feel trapped in a moment while the days go by
talking doesn't help anymore no one gets me including myself
If only I can mute this voice for a while, so I can think, so I can smile, so I can stop sucking the life out of everyone and everything

rules of happiness

rules of happiness include putting yourself first, being happy so you can help others be happy...
how can that be done when there is no time for you? I don't know or remember what would me me - only me - happy. the old stuff don't work and the new stuff don't either????
I am blessed with so many things that I am thankful for, but somehow I miss me, just me without anything or anyone else.

sometimes I am not sure which is worse, talking things out while you are certain that you will not be understood or at least feel a bit of empathy or false sense of understanding... or just keeping it in maybe it would feel better than expecting something you would not recieve

Quote for life

It takes years to build up trust but only seconds to destroy it