i guess PMS is hitting hard these days... i feel like crap..
i don't know if i do have the right to feel so or not and it is driving me mad...
i have been anticipating disaster for 2 days when i finally got my car crashed yesterday, and the weird thing is it felt like a relif... like i was waiting for it to happen ... and in a way i was... i was day dreaming about crashing each time i passed an intersection for the past few days...crazy ..huh!!
and there are those things that are bothering me and i really can't figure out if it's just a phase that will soon be behind me or is this a warning sign of what life is gng to be if i choose this to be my path..
i worry too much i know... but right now i feel so alone... its like suddenly everyone is so busy, too busy to be there for me and i am sick of trying to be considerate.... i am pissed, i should not be on my own not now.. i need help, i can't ask u for it people anymore isn't in obvious... no i can't be more talkative about it i need to to reach out, i need u to notice and try to be there.
i feeel low, bad. alone, lost. confused, grateful, scared, alone again, and angry
i don't knwo if all of this makes sense.. .really i dnt care if it does i just need to let it out
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
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